Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a process designed by Marshall B. Rosenberg that gently repurposes how we use language—from fixing, blaming, or getting things done, to something far more powerful: connecting with each other in service of making life more wonderful, together.
This process is about presence, care, and co-creating a world where everyone’s needs matter. It invites us to shift from binary thinking—right/wrong, good/bad, me vs. you—toward a more collaborative, human space of shared understanding.
It moves us from the “map” of judgment and diagnosis to the “territory” of living connection—the field beyond right and wrong, where mutuality, dignity, and possibility can flourish.
This needs-centered approach, rooted in the work of Marshall B. Rosenberg, has three KEY PREMISES:
- Everything we say, do, think and even feel, is an expression of our needs.
- We all have the same set of needs, though our strategies may differ. Conflict happens at the level of strategy, not needs.
- Everybody’s needs matter.
Four Key Steps of Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
Observations
Observations are what we can directly perceive with our senses or recall with accuracy. They help us start from a shared understanding of what actually happened, grounding us in facts rather than interpretations. Unlike evaluations, which contain judgments or opinions, observations are neutral descriptions that create a foundation for connection.
Feelings
Feelings are our inner messengers. They arise as emotions and body sensations that give us valuable information about the state of our needs. When we pause to notice our feelings, we connect more deeply with ourselves and with others. Importantly, feelings are different from thoughts; they tell us about our lived experience, not our analysis of it.
Needs
Needs are essential elements of being alive, of our humanness. They are universal, shared by all human beings, and are at the root of every action, thought, and emotion. Needs point us toward what allows us to survive, grow, and flourish. Because they are universal, needs can be met in many different ways, through a wide variety of strategies. Recognizing our needs — and the needs of others — helps us find common ground even across differences.
Requests
Requests are the bridge between needs and action. They are clear, positive invitations to co-create strategies that can meet needs. A well-formed request is specific, actionable, and realistic, while also leaving room for choice. This openness is what makes requests different from demands: when we make a request, we hold space for both “yes” and “no,” and for dialogue about what might work for everyone involved.
